The Messy Middle of Being a Female Founder: Where Growth Really Happens

The Messy Middle: Overwhelmed, Overworked, and Over It

Most stories get told from the spark, the exciting beginning or the win at the end. But the messy middle? That’s where the real growth happens.

It’s also where things start to feel heavy. Overwhelming. Like you’re overworked and just plain over it.

 “77% of small business owners report feeling the effects of burnout.” — Capital One Business Survey, 2022

If you’ve been here, I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve lived every single one of these traps, and I’ve watched my clients wrestle with them too. Let’s talk about the messy middle and the distractions that try to keep us stuck there.

The Should Suitcase

This one’s sneaky. It shows up disguised as “good advice.” You should be on TikTok. You should launch another offer. You should work harder, balance it all, and still have time for date night, family dinners, and a color-coded calendar.

But here’s the truth no one talks about: the container we’re building our businesses in is not the same as the entrepreneurs before us.

When a lot of the traditional business advice was written, those male founders had an invisible support system at home, often a wife who was running the house, raising the kids, and carrying the emotional load. That’s not the reality for most of us today. Many of us are both the CEO and the one making dinner, helping with homework, or caring for aging parents. We’re doing it all inside a very different container.

That’s why the Should Suitcase feels so crushing because it’s packed with expectations from a world that doesn’t look like ours anymore. Carrying it doesn’t make you stronger; it makes you burned out. The truth? You don’t need to push harder. You need to put it down.

 Activation Step: Write down three “shoulds” you’ve been carrying that don’t reflect your real life or your real goals. Circle one, and commit to letting it go this week.

The Make-It-Better Syndrome

The sales page is written, but you tweak the font. The podcast is recorded, but you redo the intro. The launch is ready, but you keep polishing. Not because it’s broken, but because it’s not “perfect” yet.

One of my clients sat on a workshop idea for a year because she kept “improving” it. When she finally launched, her audience loved it as it was. And she made more money! 

Perfection is fear dressed up as productivity. And while you’re tweaking, your magic is sitting in drafts.

 Activation Step: Pick one thing you’ve been endlessly editing and ship it as it is. Done really is better than perfect.

The Comparison Trap

I’ll never forget the season when I was watching other female founders online and thinking, “They’ve got it all figured out, why am I still scrambling?”

The comparison trap makes you forget your own brilliance. It tells you you’re behind, you’re not enough, and you should copy what’s working for someone else.

One of my Brand Spark clients came in with a Pinterest board of everyone else’s logos, none of them looked like her. Once she stopped copying and leaned into her story, her brand felt alive. Comparison paralyzes. Connection frees.

 Activation Step: When comparison creeps in, name one thing you admire in them and then write down how you already embody it in your own way.

The Credential Chase

I’ve been here too. After my master’s degree, certifications, and years of experience, I still caught myself thinking, “Maybe if I had one more credential, then I’d really be legitimate.”

But no certificate has ever given me what client transformation has. I’ve had clients with every certification under the sun who still felt like imposters until they owned the results they were already creating.

Your lived (even your traumas) experience, your client wins, your resilience those are your real credentials.

Activation Step: Write down three client results you’re proud of. Let those be your credentials.

Read our blog Imposter Syndrome is a Liar: Step Into Your Magic & Own Your Success

The Flying Monkeys

These are the voices that screech at you right when you’re about to do the brave thing.

What if I fail? What if no one buys? What if I’m not good enough?

When I launched my first group program, I nearly canceled it because of the monkeys. But the women who joined told me later it changed their entire businesses.

Those monkeys are liars. Fear and doubt aren’t truth, they’re just noise.

 Activation Step: Next time fear pops up, call it out loud: “That’s just a flying monkey.” Naming it takes away its power.

The Power of Saying No

I used to say yes to everything, every networking invite, every “quick coffee chat,” every client even when I knew they weren’t aligned. It left me exhausted and resentful.

Saying no felt scary at first, but once I started, I realized it created the space for the right yeses, the aligned projects, the dream clients, the opportunities that felt expansive instead of draining.

Every no is a boundary that protects your magic.

Activation Step: Look at your calendar this week. Cross off one thing you agreed to that doesn’t actually serve you.

Why the Messy Middle Matters

The messy middle isn’t pretty, but it’s powerful. These obstacles are real, I’ve walked through them, and so have my clients. But once you start seeing them for what they are, you can choose differently.

You can put down the “shoulds,” stop tweaking, quiet the monkeys, and finally move forward on your own terms.

That’s where the magic begins.

Listen to season six in our brand new name, the Wickedly Branded Marketing podcast. With Beverly Cornell, host and fairy godmother of brand clarity, season six is all about brand activation, bringing your brand to life through your voice and visuals and vibe because clarity is the spark, but the activation. That’s where the flame comes alive.

We’ll talk about the moment when everything you’ve been building finally clicks together. Your visuals feel right. Your message sounds like you, and you are most importantly proud to put it all out there into the world. You’ll hear from business owners who’ve been exactly where you are and the strategies they use to create the brands that are both so aligned. 

What This Means for Your Brand

At Wickedly Branded, we see the messy middle for what it is: the place where overwhelmed overachievers need the most support. That’s why our Brand Magic Path is built around guiding you through it.

• Awaken: Find clarity and see yourself clearly again.
• Activate: Build connection and strategy that feel aligned.
• Amplify: Create visibility with confidence and momentum.
• Automate: Build ease and sustainability with systems that support your magic.

Because the messy middle doesn’t have to mean burnout. With the right guide, it can be the most transformational part of your journey.

Your Next Step

P.S. If you’re the overwhelmed overachiever, the one balancing 42 tabs, a cold coffee, and a never-ending list of “shoulds.” Cut the chaos, keep what works, so you can stop wasting precious time on things that aren’t getting results.